As soon as you dictate rules and musts resistance will come.

Control and shoulds inspire those who have become oppressed to return towards balance by disconnecting, refusing or staging an active protest. 

The opposite of dictate is to request. Telling vs asking. 

As soon as you provide space by inviting people in with free choice you implore people to contribute generously in return. 

People show up within their free will. They spread coulds not shoulds. They frame their life (and other's lives) with possibility. 

This rings true for empowering organisations, friendships, families and yourself.