When you take too much responsibility you start blaming yourself, you feel stuck and you might even convince yourself that you are the centre of everyone's problems.
When you don't take enough responsibility you start blaming everyone else, you feel stuck and you might even convince yourself that everyone else is the cause of all of your problems!
What a powerful thing responsibility is - both in its owning and in its bestowing.
How do we balance both the things I am responsible for and those things that you are responsible for? Healthy boundaries - clarity - self awareness and grace (grace both offered to yourself and others (we are all not perfect)) all help.
It is in this balancing of responsibility where we meet. Two people with perceived needs, expectations, wishes and wants. If we go for the easy solution we draw the lines of responsibility through contracts, "rules", guidelines or in messy unspoken rules (the worst kind) that lead to sticky situations.
On the other hand if we offer up grace and respectfully ask ourselves and others to be primarily responsible for ourselves/themselves - watch what changes. People take ownership. Relationships have healthy boundaries. Possibility abounds. We start to respond not react out of perceived needs not being met or worse that we are holding everything up.
We have an opportunity to become well rounded and conscious people in a relationship placing energy into the things we can actually control, coordinate or strengthen.